TAKE FOUR: BEHIND THE BEAT

 - Rhoro.

"... I hope I find myself, I hope I'm doing well"

 It was a Saturday; more specifically the 8th of June 2019

... That's the date when I made the beat for "TAKE FOUR", its release date on the 12th of this month would mark the 7-year anniversary of this beat.

I don't remember what I was doing in particular that day, but I do remember the sentiments I had in the days leading to be my final week of middle school.

9th grade me was already kind of disillusioned with the wonders of middle school. I expected it to be better; I'd get the experience of a 'first love' by the time I was 13, get on the basketball team, and then get on the honor roll.

NONE of those things happened. I was GRAVELY disappointed.

So picture this. Here I am, freshly 15 years old with zero desire to build and/or maintain a standard of excellence. Just a desire to just graduate and get into ANY high school.

I felt super out-of-touch with everything and everyone, I was treated like a ruffian by my science, social, and even my Math teacher. And I was dealing with (now that I'm looking back, quite severe) family problems.

The only thing that kept me feeling competent, capable, and seen was making beats.

Every beat I posted and made, was an aspect of me that was accepted by people who understood it, and almost every beat was appreciated and noticed by rappers and musicians a-like.

I got to collab with people and share the vision I wanted within the space I felt acknowledged by.

Though there were some problems at times, I still managed to find the joy in it all.

"... Had problems from the jump, (No)

Had problems from the-"

I couldn't say the same for school, I sucked at it.

I couldn't bring myself to study because I had already entered a state of learned helplessness (why even bother? why even try if I'm not going to get the results I want immediately?).

For the last 2 years up until that point, I wanted to pursue something Science-related and it seemed like Medicine was the best answer for that! So I attempted studying for those finals with the remaining drive I still had. 

A few weeks later, I got the results back in the mail. Every result that I saw had done a good job in revealing to me that I didn't have the drive, understanding, and talent for the pursuit of medicine.

But this feeling wasn't unfamiliar to me.

No matter how hard I tried to understand throughout my early educative years, the important things just never clicked.

And as a result of that, I resorted to just 'giving up'. Just putting just enough effort to pass, yet still chasing my desire to make more music.

"I'm asking God, No doubts but just how will You prevail?"

I remember telling my parents about my dilemma between my relationship with schoolteachers, the students, and my academics

And the responses they gave were nothing short of eyebrow-raising and uncomforting.

During that summer, my Mom sat me down and said something along the lines of "... this music thing isn't good for you, please just focus on school."

And I made the decision to slowly abandon the pursuit of music, and try to put my all into academic achievement. (Arguably the top 3 worst [and slightly-disinformed] decisions I've EVER made in the last 6 years).

"Are we gon' press restart, Or leave it on a shelf?

What are you thinking of? What are you thinking of?"

Now fast-forward about 5-6 years later. I believe it was around the end of Summer '24, I formally meet Will at a youth service meeting. 

I had listened to "CHARLIE BROWN" a few months prior and I was floored by the musical aptitude, and I was like "I should work with him". So boom, I talked to him about the music, and then in December we collaborated on an instrumental called "looseleaf" and it sounded amazing.

It made me re-consider picking up the style of beats I had formerly abandoned. So in a way I was compelled to "press restart" after I chose to "leave it on a shelf" for a few years.

Then he sent me a project sketch of what would become "HEAVEN SENT". I made a few additions and he liked it! I was surprised.

Then he asked me to send more stuff *gulp*.

At the time, I didn't really have any newer drafts similar to the essence of what we were making.

So (Mind you, I felt like I was being VERY disrespectful in doing this) I reluctantly sent him a bunch of older beats I'd made around 2018/19.

Those beats ended up becoming TALGIA, HEAVEN SENT, marchwinds, and now TAKE FOUR.

As I always say (but I really do mean it) I'm always grateful to be a part of anyone's creative process. To have the music I create, be a part of what someone thinks of is incredibly validating.

Shoutout to Will for taking a shot at these beats and making something beautiful out of what I unwillingly abandoned (no pun intended). I really do hope you guys enjoy the song.

SONG CREDITS FOR TAKE FOUR:

Written & Arranged by: WILL WAS HERE, Hezekiah Samaniego

Produced by: Rhoro Iyeke (Me)

Recording Engineer: WILL WAS HERE

Mixing Engineer: Quincy Hinch